hello again!

Gees...it's been awhile since i've blogged! But, if I'm being totally honest with myself, I haven't really been in the mood to blog...or even talk really.
BUT today Dr. Peterson said something that stuck with me. He said, "we grow the most when we think we suck." At first, I thought this was sort of a strange thing to say but then thought about it more and realized that maybe he's right. After I found out the news that I had soft vocal nodules I was crushed. I thought, "what do I do" but then I decided to take a different outlook about it and be positive! For awhile it worked...until I started singing and didn't see improvement. (Obviously!). I guess I thought that having a positive attitude would change everything, but it takes a lot of hard work too.
Last week in my voice lesson all I could think they entire time was, "I suck." I wasn't sounding like myself, I didn't feel like I was doing my best, and I was frustrated beyond. But ever since then I've been really focusing on my voice more than I have in awhile and this weekend during our concert I felt really strong. Today I do too. I think Dr. P has a point, when we think we suck, and we get down on ourselves, after away the frustration gets to us and we subconsciously think to ourselves, alright it's time to step your game up -- and we begin to grow as a person in all aspects.
So I'm challenging myself to grow. Everyday. Even if it's just one thing.
Take the challenge! :)

it seems that

At every moment of our lives we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss...

silence makes the heart grow fonder...

So on Wednesday I was put on vocal rest by my doctor and vocal coach. Initially I figured, oh this won't be too bad...Well, I was so incredibly wrong. This is my fourth day in a row of complete silence, no singing or talking, and it is such a challenge! Being on vocal rest has made me realize two things: 1- I LOVE TALKING and 2- it's made me realize how much we talk everyday! Whether it's in my lectures or just responding to a "How are you?", we as humans talk a lot. Although I've been doing a really good job and frankly, am really proud of myself for not talking, it hasn't been easy. Thank god I have such supportive roommates -- well ok, they think it's kind of funny; for instance Carly the other day said, "Oh my god this is so fun, it's like charades!" I suppose that's the silver lining of it all -- instead of mope, make it a game!

This weekend I have so much work to do. I have a paper to write, a music history test to study for, 4 songs to memorize, an ear training test to practice for, but in all of the hecticness...I really just want my grandpa's big breakfast. He used to make this amazing feast with all the works: eggs, sausage, bacon, toast, biscuits and gravy, you name it! What I would give for his breakfast. What I would give for him to be here... But, he is here. I have to believe that.

xoxo

yummm

this is a Chai Tea Creme Brulee...I need this...

currently listening...

I am in love with finding new musical discoveries!

I don't know where this band came from or why I have never discovered it before, but thanks to my great friend Kelly Rae, the HURTS album has been on major repeat for about 2 weeks now and it's not getting old in the slightest! These two men are brilliant in everything they do...I can't wait for their next album to come out because if it's anything compared to this one it will be utter brilliance.

Also on repeat is the, not new discovery, but always amazing Iron and Wine. The Endless Numbered Days album is possibly one of the most musically amazing things I personally have ever heard. It is the perfect thing to wake up to or fall asleep to. It's a perfect combination of soothing guitar and allay vocals. Samuel Beam, you've outdone yourself once again.

And lastly, at least for today, is a local band from right here in Orange County (now LA) that is becoming much more well known. Local Natives album Gorilla Manor is awe-mazing. These guys seriously have something amazing to offer the musical industry and world. Their song "World News" is probably my personal   favorite, but all of their songs are fantastic. The music is fairly simplistic, but their vocals and harmonies will take you away on quite a journey. It's turning out to be awesome studying or gym music...eh what am I kidding, Local Natives can filter through my ears and mind anytime :)

thank god.

Well i must say, thank god this week is basically over! With my emotions scattered all over the place I really haven't felt myself all week. And worst of all, I have laryngitis and have been put on vocal rest meaning I can't sing or talk: basically my two favorite things in the world. ( I got caught by my voice coach today talking and got yelled at..)

Being sick is bad enough; but being sick and a vocalist is the worst. If you sing, you know what i'm talking about. I think about half or more of the vocal department is sick right now with something...

This week I've really been feeling down physically and emotionally but tonight, a night with food, friends, laughter, and love, brought me out of my slump. It is these people who make living day to day worth it.

When I first moved here I was sad because I felt like I had no family near me. But the truth of it is, I do. The people I live with and surround myself with each day are as much my family as anyone else. And for that I am truly grateful.

Much Love.

"Music reaches out."
This was too awesome not to post.