"Music reaches out."
This was too awesome not to post.

series of unfortunate events

Well last night made me realize that sometimes bad things happen to good people. But what I don't understand is why. Are they meant to be learning experiences? Is it karma? I have yet to learn the answer to that question, but things happen -- and they are not always pleasant.

How we respond to the bad things are what matters I suppose. Whether we like it or not, they happened and can't be erased. We have to accept what happens and move on. Put it behind us and go forth with our lives. I suppose it's just hard to move on from certain things that really affect us.

I'm so thankful for my friends in times like these. I don't know what I would do without them.

I refuse to let anyone make me feel mediocre and like they can treat me in any way that I'm not ok with. At least the one thing I gained from this was knowing what I will never let someone do to me ever again.

I wish it was sunny outside. I woke up today sad, confused, and its pouring rain. Cheers to this series of unfortunate events...

sunshine makes everything better

Being from northern california, I'm used to warm summers and cold, dark, rainy winters. But now in southern california I'm having to adapt to this new climate where it is sunny and hot about 325 days out of the year. I've been back at school for a week now and everyday it's been about 70 degrees or warmer outside. It's sunny with blue skies everyday. We even went to the beach last weekend! In January! For a norcal girl, that was an experience.

Today I woke up to, once again, sunny blue skies and while enjoying my morning coffee marveled at the realization of how the sunshine can totally alter your attitude. It's pretty hard to be sad, or gloomy when you look out the window and the sun is shining bright -- you can't help but smile. Today would be the perfect day for a beach trip or some volleyball. I think I could get used to this :)

new year, new attitude.

Well I survived my first semester in college. It was the hardest, scariest thing I've ever gone through. Of course I was so excited to move away (who wouldn't be?) but as I started school and settled into my new life I wondered, almost daily, whether choosing a school where I knew NO ONE was the best idea. The first few months, the answer was absolutely no. I was terribly homesick. I was transitioning from my hometown where I had friends, family, I was involved in choir, water polo, and my community, into a place where I had never spent more than a few days, I had no friends, and no family. I was completely alone for the first time in my life.

Then I realized quickly that anything I thought I had learned in high school was pretty much useless. College was a whole different ballpark. Classes were harder, professors could care less, you never had to go to class, and literally every decision was mine. At first it was liberating; then it was frightening. First semester was such a rollercoaster. Happy...Sad...Content...Lonely...Excited...Confident...Embarrassed...I felt like I was falling apart, and during the time when I was supposed to be "finding myself", falling apart was the furthest thing from my goal. But I survived.

Now, it's my second semester, and after a long a restful winter break, I was ready to be back. I was prepared to face my schedule, my friends, my professors, my fears, my goals, and myself. And now, after a week being back I can truly say I have not been this happy in quite sometime -- and it feels amazing. My life is full of music, energy, laughter, and a happiness I haven't felt in I'm not sure how long.
I'm taking 11 classes this semester-20 units- and although some days I wonder "what in the world am I doing?" for some odd reason, I'm not worried. I'm confident in myself, and am trusting the cliche saying that "everything happens for a reason." Good things are starting to happen and I'm learning to trust. And even if things aren't good, they will be.

"In the end it will all be ok; if it's not ok, it's not the end."

This is not the end, this is only the beginning.