new year, new attitude.

Well I survived my first semester in college. It was the hardest, scariest thing I've ever gone through. Of course I was so excited to move away (who wouldn't be?) but as I started school and settled into my new life I wondered, almost daily, whether choosing a school where I knew NO ONE was the best idea. The first few months, the answer was absolutely no. I was terribly homesick. I was transitioning from my hometown where I had friends, family, I was involved in choir, water polo, and my community, into a place where I had never spent more than a few days, I had no friends, and no family. I was completely alone for the first time in my life.

Then I realized quickly that anything I thought I had learned in high school was pretty much useless. College was a whole different ballpark. Classes were harder, professors could care less, you never had to go to class, and literally every decision was mine. At first it was liberating; then it was frightening. First semester was such a rollercoaster. Happy...Sad...Content...Lonely...Excited...Confident...Embarrassed...I felt like I was falling apart, and during the time when I was supposed to be "finding myself", falling apart was the furthest thing from my goal. But I survived.

Now, it's my second semester, and after a long a restful winter break, I was ready to be back. I was prepared to face my schedule, my friends, my professors, my fears, my goals, and myself. And now, after a week being back I can truly say I have not been this happy in quite sometime -- and it feels amazing. My life is full of music, energy, laughter, and a happiness I haven't felt in I'm not sure how long.
I'm taking 11 classes this semester-20 units- and although some days I wonder "what in the world am I doing?" for some odd reason, I'm not worried. I'm confident in myself, and am trusting the cliche saying that "everything happens for a reason." Good things are starting to happen and I'm learning to trust. And even if things aren't good, they will be.

"In the end it will all be ok; if it's not ok, it's not the end."

This is not the end, this is only the beginning.